The World Is Round — the WHOLE World I Mean
by Hellerick Ferlibay
Summary: A story about the greatest war in the history of the Universe. And about a field trip of our favorite characters. [One shot]


The World Is Round — the WHOLE World I Mean

_By Hellerick Ferlibay_

* * *

Here we go: the second story from the author of the 'Fact Box'.

It's nothing serious, just trying to keep our favorite characters in character in the most out-of-character situation I could think of.

The language: sucks (I'm Russian, you know. I'll be glad if somebody will point at my mistakes.)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here. (But when I'll become the World Dominator I promise I'll change it. Be nice to me in the reviews and may be I'll help you in something too.)

* * *

The World is round. No, I don't mean that the Earth is round. I mean _whole_ the world — The Universe. Roughly speaking, our Universe has form of 4-dimensional ball wrapped in locally 3-dimensional space that is curved in the dimensions of higher level. And that space is the one we live in. This fact should be known to every first grader of our galaxy, but alas it isn't. The one who doesn't know or has forgotten about it takes the risk of getting into a very embarrassing situation (like Columbus with his 'short trip to India').

The more commonly known fact: relations between civilizations of different star systems don't last long. When a one-system civilization discovers that it isn't alone in the Universe it usually dies of cultural shock (remember of Mayans or Aztecs). The interstellar empires also are very fragile — because they're economically unprofitable.

That's why the Shepjenans were so proud: they have founded the Shepji-Malladan Imperatorissimum of the Universe — or to be short — The First Universal Empire!

—

This 'special' day Mr. Simmons was as cheerful and boring as ever.

"Okay, class. Now when you've taken your seats in the bus and are ready for our very special field trip to the Chatooka Falls, I have a special announcement for you! This time I won't be alone giving you your outdoor lesson, I'll be helped by a very well known for all of us student teacher!"

"Oh no, it can't be true," murmured Helga under her breathe. But alas, the notorious blonde has climbed the school bus.

"Surprise-surprise, Baby Sister!"

"NOOOOOOO!"

—

Admiral Jemaná was an old spacedog. For twenty standard imperial cycles of his career he had climbed to the post of the Commander of the West Expeditionary Space Fleet of the Universal Empire. Just now Admiral Jemaná was combing the east wing of the Milky Way Galaxy (that was on the west boundaries of the Empire now) searching for intelligible life. It didn't cost any labor to discover a new planet that clattered in every direction in the whole radio-magnetic frequency range. The planet rotated around a little G class star and was discovered by the Radar Group of the Fleet from the distance of one kiloparsec. Yes, you're right — they had discovered the Earth (but the Admiral had named it 'Chalobo-Jemanaichi-14-3', or in English 'Milky Way, 14th inhabited system found by Jemaná, the third planet from the star'). Jemaná had mixed emotions about the discovery: on one hand it would add 'executiveness' points to his service record; but on the other… it's such a bother to discover planets! And judging by how barbarically it used the frequency range, this one was in its radio epoch, and that's the worst case. This means that the civilization is enough technically advanced to be able to discover the presence of the alien star fleet, but is not enough stabilized to survive the cultural shock of meeting the Universal civilization. Admiral Jemaná didn't have to request the Standard Directive Algorithms; he already knew all the procedures by heart. He ordered to send a sub-spatial bot for a covert observation. But he still activated the Directive Algorithms: he needed no unnecessary responsibility.

You still remember that the Universe is round? Well, this means that if two fleets will leave the same time the same point in opposite directions — one to the west, and one to the east — they will eventually meet each other.

Yes, Admiral Chagataki, the Commander of the East Expeditionary Space Fleet of the Universal Empire, acquiesced in something to Admiral Jemaná. But he was three times younger! He had a marvelous career: just three cycles ago he was a simple creativist in the interior administrative troops, and now he was admiral! (Thanks to the crisis of vegetables suffrage — many big bugs have fallen that time!) However Chagataki's Radar Group was as good as Jemaná's one. And it also had no troubles in finding the Earth. But as I've said above he was still young and I would even say romantic, and he gave to Earth less technical name: "Solishingawa-3" — after a female character in series he liked very much. His eyes shone with ebullition: new civilization! The one that still has to know about the magnificent Universal Empire! Oh its heart-moving naïve self-assurance of its loneliness in the Universe! Oh its touching affection to radio fields! Oh how much he wished to rush into the planet's atmosphere in whole the brilliance of his ensign ship! He wished to see the stunned faces of native dwellers! But that's later — much later. Admiral Chagataki still hadn't enough experience and self-confidence in such things. He ordered to activate the execution of the Directive Algorithms and sent to the Earth his sub-spatial bot.

—

"And now, children, I think we all should thank Miss Pataki for her special and very interesting tale about the Chatooka Falls and the habits of Indians that lived here in old days."

The class (with the only exception of Helga) politely clapped.

"Maybe somebody would like to ask some question?"

Gerald cleared his throat and asked:

"Miss Pataki, I've heard there are some caves. It's true?"

"Oh yeah, Gerald. You're right. Although they aren't very big. And I don't we should go there."

"Why?" asked Harold. "They are dark and scary?"

"Yes I think. And nobody's been there for long time. Everything there is braky, and there are many bats —"

"Bats?" asked Sid in dismay.

"— and spiders —"

"Spiders!" happily exclaimed Nadine.

"Yeah, there are very many spiders. Just like in the basement of my father's house. Oh, Baby Sister, you remember you'd been there once and then something frightened you so hard that you bounced out there and roared 'Mommy! The big bad spider tried to bite me!' Oh Helga, you were such a silly little girl back then!"

Everybody laughed. Only Helga could say what she felt that moment. Sure she remembered that time. And she remembered that later, day after day she descended to the basement, at first watching spiders — then touching spiders — then crushing spiders. She had overcome her arachnophobia, and now she was laughed about it. She said nothing, just gritted her teeth and shook her fist.

"No more questions?" asked Mr. Simmons. Gaining no attention he exclaimed: "Class!" When the talking and laughing died he added: "Well class, now you have two hours of free time. Remember, at three P.M. everybody must be on their seats in the bus. If anybody wants to know more about the falls and the creek I'll be down there by the water. Miss Pataki, you'll go with me?"

"Oh, I think no, Mr. Simmons. I would rather be here near the bus. I think the guidance of the trip should be in different places — to have more control."

"It sounds reasonable. Everybody's free now."

The screaming children run off everywhere.

Ten minutes later several kids met near a huge sequoia tree.

"I know a legend about the caves," informed Gerald.

"We know all you legends and how reliable they are," said Helga with sarcasm.

"Just shut up, Helga. Spill out, Gerald!" said Sid.

"Not here. There!"

"There?"

"In the caves!"

Sid's countenance suddenly became darker. He said in nervous voice:

"The caves? Oh, I'm not sure it's good idea. I think I would rather go to Mr. Simmons. You know I've brought my new boombox here. I think I'll throw a kinda picnic there."

"I hate to admit it but you're right," stated Helga "Gerald, your ideas always were stupid, but now you outdid yourself. To go to these dirty caves just to hear your new good for nothing 'legend'. Yeesh! Right, Pheebs?"

"Oh, I wouldn't be so definite in this case, Helga. You see, taking into consideration…" here Phoebe was cut by Harold.

"Helga's afraid of the caves! Helga's afraid…"

"Shut up, Pink Boy!"

"Oh mommy! This big scaring spider…"

"Shut up before I shove my fist down your throat! You'll be first who will cry for mommy!"

Trying to change the subject Arnold asked Lila:

"And you Lila? You'll come with us? I think it will be interesting." (Hearing this Helga rolled her eyes.)

"Oh I'm ever so sure it will. But I would rather go with Sid, Arnold."

"And I," said Rhonda. "I still remember what had happened with my Caprini boots on the Elk Island."

Here the kids parted. Arnold, Gerald, Helga, Phoebe, Harold, and Stinky went to the caves. When they already were on the clearance in the woods under the 'Cave' rock Helga suddenly asked:

"Maybe you'll enlighten us, Arnoldo; what the heck you're bringing your baseball bat with you here in the middle of the woods?"

"It isn't _my_ bat. It's Mickey Kaline's. I've promised to give it back to him."

"You could leave it in the bus."

"Yes, but I don't want something to happen with it. It's too important. I wanted to give it Mickey Kaline after school. I didn't know we have a field trip today. You know I was absent yesterday — I had to help grandpa with water pipes."

"Yeah sure, Football Head. And you don't know what phone is. Hey! And what about permission papers? If you didn't know we have a field trip today how it came out you have a signed permission paper?"

"Grandpa gave me a ride to the school today. When we arrived we saw Mr. Simmons and he told us about the field trip and gave my grandpa the permission paper to sign."

"Then why you haven't left this bat in the Packard of yours?"

"What are you leading to, Helga?"

"I can't believe it, Hair Boy. You have _falsified_ your grandpa's signature!"

"You mean I'm lying?"

"Heck, yes!"

"You know I could never do it!"

"Sometimes I wish you could!"

Now Arnold was very pissed at her.

"Fine! If I can remember correctly you didn't want to go here! You can go wherever you wish and do whatever you want and judge there about people by yourself, but just leave us ALONE!"

"Fine!" shouted Helga and stormed out of the clearing.

But she didn't go far. She hid behind a huge sequoia and heavily sighed.

—

The Directive Algorithms for first acquainting with a civilized planet are standard in the whole Imperial Fleet. So it's no wonder that when they received data of the same planet they gave the same time/space coordinates for first observance: somewhere in the east North America, about noon on a warm day of May. Sure, everyone of two admirals could change the coordinates, but for the reasons I've told you above they didn't change anything until the directive algorithms asked for their attention. Both admirals looked intently into the same picture on their holo-screens: a forest, a creek, subterranean cavities, and about one and half dozen presumably intelligent creatures.

Admiral Chagataki decided to take more notice of one particular creature that was sitting near some technical device (supposed to be some type of primitive vehicle). In his report he has defined his interest in it like 'because of necessity to explore the technical development of the civilization' and its 'cultural level' (the creature was reading a book). But his real reason consisted in the fact that the creature in question was a female creature. I would even say a pretty female creature. That's why he led his bot to Olga Pataki.

Admiral Jemaná was too old to have romantic interest in local forms of life. He led his bot to the largest group of creatures which were staying near the entrance of one of the cavities in the face of the planet. Then he studied the picture more carefully. One creature stayed at a distance from the others. It hid in bushes behind a large tree and was watching the other creatures while they were discussing something.

"It's a predator evidently," guessed Jemaná "It's going to attack."

In the first place Jemaná had to know what of the creatures was specimen of the intelligent race. The creatures were very different in height, color and fur. But Jemaná guessed that in this level of technical development the intelligent creatures would rather be hunters than their game. Jemaná studied carefully the hunter. It was dressed in bloody-pink toga (yeah, Shepjenans have pink blood), there were no weapon to be seen, except some pink object on the creature's head (if I was a head) purpose of which he couldn't understand. The creature's dress, missive jaw and solid noble brow made it look like one of the warrior chimps from the Imperial Elite Guard, and it evoked Admiral Jemaná's respect. The admiral ordered to the sub-spatial bot to hover above the scene of bloody massacre to be.

—

While the others were discussing how to climb to the cave, Stinky was the only one who looked back up at the top of the huge sequoia.

"Heh gahz," droned Stinky in his nasal accent and pointed to the tree. "Dohn ya see thahr ahnithin?"

(Yes, the bot was sub-spaial, but it still created some spatial disturbance causing refraction of light, changing of colors and little distances etc.)

Gerald looked up.

"Yeah, there is kinda cloud or something."

"If ya ask me, Geh-rahl, it looks lahk —"

"A lemon pudding?"

"How did ya know?"

"Eh, just lucky guess I think."

—

The Operator of the bot silently beckoned Admiral Jemaná to himself and pointed to the results of measurements of spatial disturbance level. The cold sweat stood out on the admiral's forehead. Either in half a mile from his bot was hidden a little black hole or… somebody used sub-spatial technology here! Oh yeah, a primitive secluded civilization, fat chance. Yet again Admiral Jemaná went over in his mind the data of primary analysis: aerodynamic aircrafts, chemical plants, nuclear weapon (which couldn't be hidden better than just buried in earth)… But what is this show for! His foreboding skills yet again were right: in a short time the metropolis will know about this, and he will have troubles. Very big troubles. The results of measurements said that the spatial disturbance came from that apparatus, at first determined as 'primitive vehicle'. Near the apparatus was a creature taller than ones he had been studying. The creature was pretending to study the object it hold in its hands (looking like primitive inactive information holder). Admiral Jemaná called up to his psi-technician and ordered to explore the suspicious object and its master.

—

Admiral Chagataki was studying the first data of the creature's physiology (very nice physiology by the way), and had just ordered to make correlation analysis between the graphical symbols in the book it was reading and its brain activity, when he was shouted by his psi-technician to come at. The admiral wanted to read his psi-technician a lecture about subordination, but when he saw his face he understood that something serious had happened.

"Yes?"

"We have trouble," said psi-technician being apologetic.

"What's up?"

"We're scanned."

"By whom?" Chagataki started to lose his patience.

"It comes from there, near the cavities, a large tree" the psi-technician pointed to several points on the holo-screen representing the area around the sub-spatial bot. "We're scanned in psi-range, I mean."

"The psi-technology is known here? That's strange…" But suddenly the admiral was struck by the meaning of the technician's words. "Lord Emperor! But how they have discovered us! Hey, operator, what's there with sub-space?"

The operator of the bot was bewitched by what he saw on holo-screens.

"Sir. That tree isn't a tree. It's a projection of a sub-spatial object in the real space. And its sub-spatial mass isn't less than our bot's, even more I think. And in the bushes near the 'tree' there is a creature similar to a warrior chimp."

'Unbelievable. We have been waited here' thought Admiral Chagataki in Shock. 'But if they use psi-scanners then they don't know we can easily detect it. So, they have psi-technology and don't and don't expect us to have it, but the sub-space is something ordinary to them. It's very strange. What surprise we have for them?'

His mind was crossed by the latest creation of the Universal science — the quantum entropology.

"Hey, I need the entropist here."

"Be safe the Emperor! What you want him for!"

"How do you talk to the admiral! Anyway, let him feel this 'tree'. Just to see how it will act."

—

The voice of the bot's operator distracted the Admiral Jemaná from his unhappy thoughts.

"Sir, they're checking our entropic structure!"

'Incredible! Impossible! Absolutely inadmissible. The latest product of the Imperial scientists is used by unknown power. But for Emperor's sake, what for?' thought the Admiral. The answer came to him: undeniable and shocking: 'They're studying the cause-affect chain between our bot and the ensign ship. And this means they're going to attack: not just to destroy my ensign ship, but to take control of it and then to disable the whole West Expeditionary Space Fleet!' The Admiral couldn't believe that some quite unknown high-tech civilization is going to attack the Universal Empire in several minutes after the first indirect contact.

"Consequantum impeditor. We must use consequantum impeditor."

Everybody who were in the control room turned around and looked at the admiral in shock. The impeditor _never_ was used against anybody. The admiral was irritated by his subordinates' reaction.

"Why are you staring at me! Or I must remind you that I'm the admiral of the Expeditionary Fleet and therefore I have right to use the consequantum impeditor when I think there is a serious danger to the Empire? I am the only one who will be responsible for it. You don't see? It's an ambush; they had our directive algorighms and they knew we'll appear here. We must use the impeditor to cut the cause-effect chain between that apparatus and their main forces. Do now, and pray to the Lord Emperor, that the enemy haven't the consequantum impeditor!"

'Well,' thought Admiral Jemaná. 'At least now I'm sure that my name will be written in the history of the Universe.'

—

_Entry:_ consequantum impeditor.

_Access:_ to the Imperial officers and scientists of C class or higher.

_Content:_ Consequantum impeditor is the latest product of the Imperial technology. Its work is based on random messing (impedition) of the quanta of cause-effect chains (consequanta). The result of implying is unpredictable but usually destructive. C.i. is suggested to be used for military purposes.

_Your access denied. Confirm your authorization, otherwise the protected information will be removed from your memory in five seconds._

_Four._

_Three._

_Two._

_One._

_(FLASH)_

—

The shouts were heard from everywhere. But Admiral Chagataki didn't notice them. He already knew what's going on. It was the first consequantum attack in the history of the Universe!

He hadn't even ordered it, but one technician already prepared their own consequantum impeditor; the admiral hardly had time to confirm the attack on the fake tree.

The directive algorithms of defense of the West Fleet automatically reacted on the attack and wrapped their sub-spatial bot in negative consequantum field to protect it. The consequantum field generators of both fleets rasped grading into their full power mode. The consequanta of cause-effect field furiously and chaotically scampered in the prime cause ether in terrifying whirls, attracted and pushed away each other, changed their polarity, annihilated, and summed up into enormous resonance waves. The consequantum protection of the West Fleet's bot broke and the insane and uncontrolled consequantum storm burst into its sub-space in a whirl of nonsense causality, and for some incomprehensible reason turned the bot into two hundred old rusty bike skeletons.

"Admiral Jemaná, they have destroyed our bot!"

It was worse than any of his nightmares.

"Don't stop counterattack!" yelled the admiral "Concentrate all the power of consequantum impeditor on the alien apparatus!"

And all the might of both fleets came down upon the seven earthmen.

—

"Oh why must I torture thee, my only love, my only hope, the only reason of my waking in up in morning and the only one whom are all my thoughts about while I drift to sleep! And I don't need the sun, and I don't the moon; the smile of thine the only luminary that can illuminate my day. How could I tell you such terrible things, how could the tongue of mine move in charging thee with falsehood? I believe thee more than my eyes, more than my ears, more than my skin! If shall I see an abyss and thou wilt say me that there is plain terrain I shall step in it. If wilt thou say that a scorpion is just a kitty, I shall pet it. If wilt thou say I can fly, I shall fly! I shall fly to the… to the… fly… what the… Criminy, I fly! Stop it! I wanna be back to the ground!"

The five children on the clearing under the cave saw Helga flying from behind the sequoia. She somersaulted in the air, and cursed at the height of about ten feet. The kids followed her with shocked eyes. Helga didn't like it.

"What are you looking at, buckos? I'm flying here, you know. Have problems with it!"

"Uh no, Helga, it's okay... I guess," murmured Arnold.

"_Okay!_ Are you deaf, Football Head? I said I'm flying! What's okay with it? Pull me down, NOW!"

Arnold jumped trying to catch her foot, but she dodged his hand.

"Who said you can touch me, Arnoldo!"

"You did, just now!"

"I said pull me down, and you didn't."

"'Cause you evaded! Stop talking nonsense!"

"Arnoldo, I'm _flying_! I have every right to talk nonsense! Jump and catch me or I swear I'll pound you!"

And Arnold jumped. But irrational fear seized Helga again and evading him she ascended yet another ten feet. However Arnold also was determined to catch her and almost did it — at the height of twenty feet.

"No way you'll catch me, Football head!"

But Arnold didn't care about her insults.

"Eh, Gerald... I think I have a problem."

"Oh man, now you're flying too?"

"Thank you, Mr. Obvious," hissed Helga.

Gerald looked at his friend flying above him. He stretched up his right arm and started to repeat in his mind: 'I can fly. I can fly. I'll fly up and reach Arnold'. Suddenly his feet took off and he started to slowly ascend.

"Oh my..." murmured Phoebe.

Helga seeing that now she was one against two cried to Phoebe:

"What are you still doing down there, Pheebs? Come up here!"

Phoebe closed her eyes and slowly bent her legs in knees. When she opened her eyes she saw that she was hanging in the air. She quickly closed her eyes again and started to say very fast something inarticulate.

"Your Japanese will wait. Climb here, Pheebs!"

"Climbing!"

—

Sid's picnic didn't work well.

Instead music his boombox uttered strange incomprehensible sounds. (The left load speaker cursed with Admiral Jemaná's voice, and the right squealed with Admiral Chagataki's one; but the children didn't know it.)

And what the heck, where are all these ancient bikes from?

—

Olga Pataki also was having interesting time. Physically she still was sitting on the grass near the bus. But her mind was traveling in the libraries of the both Shepjenan fleet. Six years she perceived the wisdom of the Universe collected by Shepjenans.

(Of course I mean years in imaginary timeline. This timeline is perpendicular to the real one; so any space of time in it is projected into a point (i.e. nil) in the real time line.)

But the real treasure was love stories from the planet of Shani-Lawa — Olga spent ten years reading them. You see, Shani-Lawans have four sexes and their love stories are very... uh... interesting.

—

Now all the six kids were in the stratosphere. They were racing with each other in the skies, playing hide-and-seek in the clouds, completing with each other in scaring of pilots and passengers of the flying by them Boeings, and doing many things any nine year old could only dream of. When they climbed so high that the skies became dark Gerald noted something:

"Hey guys, don't you think the stars are kinda strange? Something's wrong with their color."

All the rest looked up.

"Yes, I see what you mean", said Phoebe. "It's the red shift."

"Red shift?"

"Yes, Gerald. The red shift is the phenomenon of increasing of wave lengths in spectrum of stars towards red part of it in comparison..."

"She wanna say", suddenly spoke up Harold, "that some stars run away from us so fast that when their light reach us back, it seems slower to us and the wave lengths of spectral lines shift to red."

All the rest looked dumbfounded at him.

"What?" asked Harold.

"Uh, nothing," said Helga. "Look, why we are still by the Earth? Let's go to Jupiter, Saturn or something."

"But Helga," said Phoebe, "how we'll get over the vacuum space?"

"Come on, Pheebs. We are in the air at the height of about thirty miles. Why we can't be in the space?"

"I'm still not sure, Helga."

"Oh, don't be sure, just follow me! Who'll be the last by Jupiter will be a loser!"

_(One hour later)_

Alas, being fast on the ground doesn't mean being fast in the space.

"And who's loser now, Helga? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha..." laughed Harols.

Helga grasped him by his collar.

"Try to say it again, Pink Boy," said she with angry voice. Arnold tried to quiet her:

"Calm down, guys. Let's do something."

"Like what, Football Head? What can we do in airless space near Jupiter?"

"But that was your idea to go here!" exclaimed Harold.

"Whatever... Hey Pheebs, what's there?"

"I think it's Io — the largest moon of Jupiter. Oh, sorry, it seems I'm wrong. It's Europa, and _that_ one is Io. And those two are Callisto and Ganymede."

"Okay Phoebe", said Helga and stared at the moon that was supposed to be Ganymede. She screwed up her eyes and said: "Move!"

Nothing happened.

"Hey Helga, you went crazy? You do think you can move a moon?" asked Harold.

Helga didn't answer. She felt something. She felt... the force! Just a little...

In a minute Gerald said:

"Oh, come on, Helga. We're all tired of it. Don't think you're almighty..."

Suddenly Ganymede darted off and rushed with incredible speed to Jupiter. Just in three seconds it dived into the mass of the gas giant.

"WWHOOAARFFFSHHZHHHA!" would be the sound of the explosion. Alas there is no sound in space. Instead the children saw the huge mutant-mushroom-like glowing cloud appearing in the place of the impact and rings of colossal waves scattering from there upon the face of the planet.

"Cool!" exclaimed all the children. Except Arnold of course.

"I think it was bad idea, Helga."

Evil grin appeared on Helga's face. She turned to Arnold and said:

"Speaking of bad ideas… I have one. Arnold, may ask you to hover there, above the place of the impact."

"Why?"

"You'll see," said Helga and rushed to Callisto. Arnold had no other choose and flew to mutilated Jupiter and stretched his arms and legs ad if it could stop a moon.

"Ready, Football Head!"

"Helga, stop! It's wrong thing to do!"

"Shut up, Arnoldo!"

Now Helga didn't need so much time. She threw Callisto into Jupiter. Arnold hardly evaded it and behind his back began new deep impact show.

"Strike one!" cried Helga.

'Oh no,' thought Arnold when Helga flew to Europa.

"Ready?" asked Helga.

'If she can throw moons I can return them,' thought Arnold and tried to concentrate on the moon.

But when Helga threw Europa, it flew past Arnold seeming not to notice his presence.

"Strike two!"

She flew to the largest moon — Io.

"Ready to lose, Football Head?"

"Come on, Helga. You know he always bats third time," cried Gerald.

Arnold looked at his hands. How could he forget that he still held Mickey Kaline's bat? He tried to concentrate whole his energy in it and when he felt some confidence he said:

"Throw the moon, Helga."

And Helga threw. And it looked as if Io was hit very hard and it bounced away from the children's sight.

"Yeah!" cheered the boys and Phoebe happily clapped her hands.

In spite of Arnold's being dangerous lumber curse, this time nobody was hurt. (Yeah Io crashed the NASA's extra-expensive automatic expedition to Pluto, but I've said 'nobody', not 'nothing'.)

While all the other celebrated Arnold's success Helga flew behind Jupiter.

"Yeah, where I was interrupted? 'If wilt thou say that a scorpion is just a kitty, I shall pet it. If wilt thou say can fly, I shall fly…' Yeah here, okay.

"I shall fly to thee wherever thou art. Just to see thy eyes giving sympathy to me in spite of all the harsh acts. Just to see thy hair glowing in the Jovial magnetosphere. Oh I believe the day will come, the day when I'll…"

Here she heard wheezing sound behind her back. In perfected motion she sent her fist backwards.

But something was wrong in the sound that followed her action. Helga looked back and saw Admiral Jemaná's ensign ship. Broken in two.

"Oops, sorry. I thought it was Brainy here."

—

"What was it!" cried Admiral Jemaná.

"The ship was hit! It's wrecked!" cried somebody of his subordinates.

"It's impossible! The ensign ship is protected from influence of any force field!"

"It seems it was mechanically hit!"

"You mean somebody has beaten it?"

"It looks like that, sir."

"Okay we'll talk about it later. I hope. Detach the lifeboats!"

The control room was hermetically sealed and thrown to the open space.

"What's now, Admiral?" asked the officer driving the lifeboat.

"What is the most power ship we still have?"

One of the officers looked at the radar holo-screen.

"The cruiser Amolissagar," said he.

"Okay sir," said the pilot, "we'll reach her in three minutes."

"Amolissagar…" murmured Admiral Jemaná. "Hey, what's her call-sign?"

"EESF Chama-12-aleph, sir," answered the officer. And understood that something's wrong.

"You idiot! 'EESF' means 'East Expeditionary Space Fleet'. It's on the other side of the Universe now! Turn back! That's enemies! They are falsifying Imperial call-signs!"

—

Despites Arnold's attempts to call his friends to the voice of reason, all the rest kids were playing with the Imperial starships. They were chasing them through sub-spatial wormholes, trying to drive them together as much as possible, roll up into sub-spatial bubble, and with one master blow throw it into the neighbor universe.

The wrecks of the fleets were saved by Olga's voice that caused to vibrate the near stars in its timbre.

"Helga honey, where are you?"

Helga rolled her eyes.

"Oh crap. We're here, near Jupiter —," then looked at her friends "— Saturn, and Uranus."

"Helga, it's almost four P.M. already. The trip is over."

"But we just started to have fun!" — It was Harold's voice.

"I'm afraid you have to pit it off for tomorrow."

"But miss Pataki, I'm Jew. I can't play with starships on Saturday!"

"Then for Sunday. Please come back now. Mr. Simmons is worried sick."

"Oh, okay Olga. We'll be back soon," said Helga.

And the kids flew back to the Earth.

The wrecks of the Universal space fleets made their way home: the west fleet — to the east, and the east — to the west.

—

"Emperor! Emperor!" shouted a running man dressed in livery of court communication worker.

It's long time nobody has called him that, thought the Emperor. His shortest title consisted of five words. And to omit any of them meant to insult His Divine Universal Majesty. May be it would be useful to revive the old custom: death penalty for violation of ceremonial? Ah well, it will wait for later. Now the Emperor had to know what made one of his servants to forget the elementary rules of behavior at court.

"The Empire is under attack! Simultaneously, with difference of just several minutes, came reports of the attacks on the East and West boundaries of the Empire! Our East and West Expeditionary Fleets are almost completely destroyed!"

Suddenly the servant became silent. It seemed he remembered one of still practiced customs: murdering of messenger who brought bad news.

But the Emperor didn't thought about him anymore. He was happy. He waited for this moment for 200 imperial cycles.

"Total military mobilization of the red grade! Changing into the pink grade in ten microcycles! The East and the West Marches of the Empire passage under the direct rule of My Divine Universal Majesty! Immediate meeting of the Supreme Universal Council!"

'That's it!' thought the Emperor. 'At last the time of inactivity came to end! At last the Empire has a worthy enemy!'

The End of the story

And the beginning of the great war of the Universal Empire with itself

* * *

OK guys, you'd better like my story and review it.

Or else…!


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